So, the Flax018 launch came and went. Just like that. It was a great night. Download the anthology on the Flax page, and you can follow links to audio recordings and other content.The other 5 poets were awesome and I was fully in awe of the confidence and the sheer performance. I just got up, read and sat down. This was however, my first time. In fact a lot of firsts: first time I'd ever submitted anything for publication, therefore first time I have been accepted, and first time to air it to the general public. I've only been writing for about a year, a bit less in fact, so all told it wasn't a bad job, but I still felt very conspicuous. I realised quite soon after the event, that it is not my destiny to be a performance poet. I write to be read but I would happily just read it and then leave. I'm not good at the drama, and the body language. I also feel happier letting the audience read their own meaning. I don't like explaining things outside the safe boundaries of the poem itself. I wonder if this is okay?
So what actually happened: well, I was third in line (of 6) and read four poems. Three from the anthology and one short one from no where in particular. It was exciting to see the promo postcards and I took some away for posterity. I also put my fourth poem on to travel tags and left them on tables for people to take away (see photo). These were fun to make but I didn't hang around until the end to see if they all got left on the table. I just ran for the pub.
As soon as I stepped down, I thought 'never again'. It was as painful as science presentations which I am well used to now, but that used to terrify me. When all you can hope for is a poker face. But this morning, I am more philosophical and I think I would embrace the opportunity to read some newer work. I have already begun to detatch from the anthology poems, mainly because they are older, or should I say earlier, and therefore are not typical of what I am writing now. It is a brilliant learning curve and while sat in the pub after I had the beginnings of a new idea, so inspiring were the friends that came to support me, and the other poets reading last night.
Ruth
ReplyDeleteI think you do yourself an inservice.
And also to say there is a huge spectrum between a performance poet and giving a reading.
What I find delightful both as a listener and participant (although really they are one in the same) at a literature night is the new resonance a poem is given by being read out and the immediate audience/readership that a poem or any piece of writing has.
And I think for this reason and for the respoect in which you hold your poems it is worth givng the time to reading them to people. Poetry is, traditionally, an oral art - what's the point of all that rhyme, alliterature assonance etc if we don't get to hear it aloud?
I'm so glad it went well. I adore your luggage labels, how beautiful, what a wonderful idea. I wish I could have been there...
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